News
Maine Updates State Flag With Swastika
1+ hour, 22+ min ago (20+ words) AUGUSTA, ME " The citizens of Maine have cast their votes to officially update the state flag to include a swastika....
California Passes Law Making It A Crime To Report A Crime
1+ week, 6+ day ago (35+ words) SACRAMENTO, CA " In a decisive move toward preventing any citizen journalists from uncovering massive fraud and corruption in the state moving forward, California officially passed a law making it a crime to report a crime....
Liberals Applaud Improving Diversity Of Would-Be Trump Assassins
1+ mon, 1+ week ago (30+ words) U. S. " Following the harrowing incident at the White House Correspondents' Dinner over the weekend, progressives across the United States applauded the steadily improving diversity of would-be Trump assassins....
Terrorists Give Up After Three Hours In TSA Line
2+ mon, 2+ week ago (277+ words) NEW YORK, NY " A terrorist became frustrated and decided the attack he had been planning wasn't worth the trouble after spending three hours in the TSA line at the airport. After months of meticulous planning to hijack a passenger plane,…...
Impressed By Their Setting Up Checkpoints To Demand Papers, Trump Hires Protesters To Join Border Patrol
4+ mon, 2+ day ago (283+ words) U. S. " After watching several videos of anti-ICE protesters viciously hunting people down to check their papers, an impressed President Trump announced he will immediately hire the protesters to join Border Patrol. Impressed By Their Setting Up Checkpoints To Demand Papers, Trump…...
Man Horrified To Learn ICE Has Permanent Presence At His Hotel
4+ mon, 1+ week ago (242+ words) SALEM, OR " A hotel guest caused quite the stir at a local Holiday Inn Express this week after discovering the presence of ICE at his hotel. "Why is Holiday Inn aiding and abetting literal fascists?" said Marvin Pimmins, a concerned…...
ICE Getting So Scary That Illegal Immigrants Thinking Of Leaving U. S.
4+ mon, 1+ week ago (126+ words) U. S. " Immigration and Customs Enforcement has become so scary that many illegal immigrants are reportedly considering leaving the United States. Several illegal immigrants reported that the current environment of people getting arrested for breaking the law may force them to simply…...
J6ers Wishing They Had Thought Of Branding Themselves 'Legal Observers"
4+ mon, 2+ week ago (247+ words) WASHINGTON, DC " Protestors involved in the actions on January 6th, 2021 admit they wish they had just labeled themselves as "legal observers" and avoided all the arrests and stuff. "That's such a good idea!" Jacob Paulson told friends. "It seems like if…...
The Bee Reports: ICE's 7 Most Horrifying Atrocities
4+ mon, 2+ week ago (189+ words) With tensions continuing to mount over ICE operations in Minneapolis, the journalists at The Babylon Bee are on the ground to document the despicable actions carried out by ICE agents. Here are the seven most horrifying atrocities that we have…...
Wondering If ICE Is Doing Something Evil? Check Out Our Flowchart!
4+ mon, 2+ week ago (135+ words) ICE is all over the news lately, with conflicting reports about what's actually happening. Many people have been left wondering if ICE agents are upholding the law and keeping Americans safe or perpetrating acts of evil on innocent people. Wondering…...